Growing up, college was always viewed as the best thing ever whether it was on television or in books. The main character would always have the best time of their lives with just a few bumps in the road, but I am not the main character. I am the background character who is having a complete opposite experience. Before I entered college, I had all these ideas and assumptions as to what I thought college would be like. I imagined it would be like the books and television shows and it be the best part of my life. I expected that I would make tons of lifelong friends, party, explore and just be young overall. For some people, this is how their college experience is playing out. Unfortunately, this is not the case for me.
When I began college, I made tons of friends because that was the cliché thing I was supposed to do. Along with that, I went to a party and I stayed out late. As weeks passed I realized, in almost all those social interactions, I was faking it. I did not enjoy parties because the music was trash. The “friends” I obtained were not my types and I was no longer feeling it, so I pulled back. Pulling back may have not been the best idea but is wasn’t the worst. When I pulled back from all the havoc of college, I had the opportunity to do something I’ve never done before: to focus on myself and nobody else.
I had the chance to study me. I got to be alone and on my own for the first time. I still interacted with people, but I didn’t have any friends. I choose not to have any friends because I can’t get to know a new human being before I know myself. Yes, having friends will help you find certain things out about yourself that you never knew, but, at the same time, I believe that I should commit to myself first. Then when the time comes, I will begin to let people in. Long story short, I think college should be the time where you do you, and if people and things come, they will come. If not, something else will.